How Could You
by lost-in-elysium
Summary: Gretel walks in on her mother and Lieutenant Kotler kissing. How will she deal with the aftermath? Mild sensuality, language, and violence. REVISED.
1. Chapter 1

**How Could You**

 **A The Boy in the Striped Pajamas Fanfiction**

 **Summary** : Gretel walks in on her mother and Lieutenant Kotler kissing. How will she deal with the aftermath? Mild sensuality, language, and violence.

 **Disclaimer** : We own nothing!

 **/!\ Warnings** : Mild sensuality, language, and violence.

* * *

 **Chapter One**

Gretel rolled to a halt. Swinging her leg up and over in a swift dismount, she walked her bike across the yard, propping it against the wrought-iron railing flanking Out-With's front steps. A sunny day was Mother Nature's rare boon to Europe, and one to enjoy while it lasted.

She scanned the empty driveway. _Father's still gone?_ She shrugged off her worries that lingered until the creak of the door heralded his arrival. Work often kept him late, which she didn't mind... _much_. He was returning the Fatherland to its former glory, after all.

Doffing her shoes, she padded into the foyer and deposited them in their allotted spot. After discovering [Bruno's] muddy tracks for the umpteenth time, Mother enjoined: " _Shoes worn indoors are forbidden henceforth Or Else."_ Gretel did not (nor did she want to) know what "Or Else" meant, except it did not bode well for her and her brother - yet Father and his men galumphed around the house with impunity - which Mother tolerated, but barely, eyes blazing, face flushed, and lips pursed to stifle a rebuke.

"Maria?" The call rang hollow. Gretel, rubbing her belly, drifted toward the kitchen, hoping to find the maid fixing an afternoon snack. "Maria?" No answer. _Mother must have sent her on an errand. I'll make it myself, then!_ As she reached for the spigot -

"Kurt…" His name dissolved into giggles.

Gretel froze. _Mother._

 _"Kurt!"_

Gretel peered furtively round the corner. Gasping, she reeled back, clutching her stomach, imploring it not to betray her.

Mother. Lieutenant Kotler. _Kissing_ with the fervor of star-crossed lovers, his brawny arm cinched around her waist so she wouldn't topple as he shoved his tongue down her throat.

Once the qualm passed, she cast another glance into the parlor, just as they separated. Mother glanced her way seconds after she had ducked for cover, one hand draped over the Lieutenant's bicep, the other on his chest, broad and gleaming with a spread of medals.

"Kurt, did you hear something?" The whisper of stockings and plod of heavy jackboots approached.

Gretel ran for it.

 _Thump!_

"Gretel!" Mother loomed overhead, forehead corrugated in a frown. "What are you doing on the floor?"

"I...I slipped," she said lamely.

"Are you hurt?"

"Not really." She rubbed her head with a grimace, blinking back stars and tears.

Mother's pressed her lips together as her hands alighted on her narrow waist. Jealousy lanced through Gretel; she hoped her gamine figure would blossom into hers, but the tacit prayer remain unanswered.

"You should be more careful, Gretel." Mother admonished as she and Lieutenant Kotler hauled her to her feet.

"I am going to my room." Her appetite had deserted her. "Excuse me..." Gretel flew past them and upstairs, shut her door, and flopped onto bed, gazing at the ceiling. _There has to be a rational explanation behind what I saw._

"Maybe Mother was telling Lieutenant Kotler a secret. That's why they were so close…" _Nonsense!_ There was no disputing _what_ she saw, but _why_?

The door burst open.

Gretel bolted upright. "Bruno!" She contemplated throwing a pillow at him, but decided against it; her little brother would run and tattle, and she'd never hear the end of it from their parents. _Gretel, you are the big sister. You know better than to hit your brother…._ "What did I tell you about knocking before entering?"

Bruno replied with his own question. "Do you want to go outside and play?" He raised the kite he had first flown on a beach in Spain, the summer before the world erupted into war a second time.

" _Nein,_ _dummkopf!_ Can't you see?" She pointed outside. "Where can you possibly fly a kite? We're surrounded by trees! It'll get tangled in the branches."

Bruno dropped his head, crestfallen. "Oh."

Gretel sighed. "How about the tire swing? I'll push you." She stood, eager to beguile an afternoon otherwise spent moping. Her brother darted out the room and seemed to have been waiting by the swing for ages by the time she arrived. Mother had always urged them to enjoy their childhoods since they would be gone before either knew it...

An hour later, when the pair headed inside to wash up for supper, Kurt was on his way out; Gretel's forgotten resentment surged forth with a vengeance.

" _Gute nacht,_ Lieutenant Kotler," Bruno said.

" _Gute nacht,_ Bruno." He tousled the boy's hair with a smile whose light never warmed his eyes. Meeting them without wavering required a Herculean effort on Gretel's part. " _Gute nacht, Fraulein."_ He turned to leave.

"Kurt?" His name drifted from the doorway. They turned and found Mother behind them, batting her lashes. Gretel refrained from scoffing and rolling her eyes. "Will you be joining us for supper? It is almost ready."

"I would love to, but -"

"Oh, Kurt!" Mother bounced down the steps. His eyes lingered on the pale, slender fingers caressing his arm before reuniting with hers. "It's late, and I know you are too tired to fix your own supper at home. Join us, _please_."

The Lieutenant's resolve crumbled. "I suppose I can -"

Gretel gnashed her teeth. "Will _Father_ be joining us?"

Mother's smile waned, and, for a fleeting moment, Gretel believed she would retract the invitation, say 'Never mind' and let Kurt leave.

Mother didn't. "No. He called and said he could not make it. An unexpected situation arose and he is taking care of it. He will be home later." Grin resurrected, she ogled Kotler, clinging to him as they walked inside.

* * *

 _The next evening..._

Gretel stared at her plate of lamb, steamed vegetables, roasted potatoes, and buttered rolls, the melange of aromas roiling her stomach. She glanced at Mother, who stopped cutting her noisette to return her daughter's gaze, her smile left unreciprocated. Her husband and son swung their heads toward them.

Father speared a potato and popped it into his mouth, steely blue eyes fixed on his daughter. "What is the matter, Gretel?" She was grateful he was here tonight; yesterday, she nearly exploded as Kotler and Mother simpered at each other across the table like besotted fools.

"My stomach is upset. May I be excused?" She threw her napkin on the table, beside her plate.

Mother's frowned; she prided herself on her meals despite never lifting a finger to prepare them, and considered an unfinished meal a personal affront. "Cer - certainly. Perhaps you'll feel better if you lie down awhile?"

"Perhaps" _Doubt it._ " _Gute nacht._ "

" _Gute nacht._ "

Gretel averted her eyes on the way out. She shuffled upstairs and into her room, closed the door, and crawled into bed, rain pummeling the mullioned window. The Move had filled her with trepidation and excitement about the bigger and better _everything_ awaiting her at Out-With. Now, she missed Berlin's halcyon days more than ever. _What I'd do to have it all back._

 _Why must_ I _grow up? Why can't I live in blissful oblivion like Bruno? Lieutenant Kotler_ _loves her_. _Not me._

A sob escaped her lips. Once she started, she couldn't stop. Gretel cried until her head throbbed and her nose streamed and her cheeks ran slick with tears. She had given Kotler her heart and he had torn it piecemeal, stomping its remnants into smithereens. Deep down, she knew she was too young for him, but hope sustained the delusion she stood a chance with him before Mother killed it.

Minutes or hours later - she wasn't sure - a knock sounded at the door. "Gretel? "

She said nothing. There was a pause then the footsteps receded. Eyes riveted to the door, Gretel waited for sleep to claim her until it did.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading! Chapter 2 coming next week.


	2. Chapter 2

**How Could You**

 **A Boy in the Striped Pajamas Fanfiction**

 **Summary:** Gretel walks in on her mother and Lieutenant Kotler kissing. How will she deal with the aftermath? Mild sensuality, language, and violence.

 **Disclaimer:** We own nothing!

 **Warnings /!\:** Mild sensuality, language, and violence.

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

Gretel was still asleep when Maria cracked the door and popped her head inside.

"Hurry, Gretel. You must get ready for your lessons."

The girl lifted leaden eyelids. "Alright. I'll be up," she mumbled, but snuggled deeper into her blanket.

"And soon, because your lessons commence in fifteen minutes."

Gretel huffed. " _Yes_ , Maria."

Maria shut the door, leaving her mistress with her thoughts for unwelcome company. _I love my parents._ Father may have been consumed by his job, and Mother with entrenching herself in society's upper echelons, but they loved and cared for her, Bruno, and each other. Telling Father betrayed her mother, but keeping mum deprived him of the truth he was entitled to.

She lost either way.

Dragging herself out of bed and into the bathroom, Gretel splashed tepid water onto her face, plaited her hair and dressed, hauling a satchel chock-full of books into the dining room where Herr Schneider and Bruno sat in deep study.

The tutor looked up as she set her book on the table. His balding pate shone through the brown wisps combed over it - a futile preservation of youth. "Ah, Gretel, there you are. Perhaps we'll start with maths and pick up where we left off? The Pythagorean theorem?" His eyebrows - thick as the hair on his head was sparse - scrunched under Gretel's vacuous gaze.

 _Pythaga-what_? She blinked, then, vaguely recalling last week's lesson, smiled. "Yes...of course."

She drifted through the day in a daze, wanting to snap out of it, but unable to. She Father's promotion and The Move stained their parent's marriage, and Mother's dalliance with Lieutenant Kotler wasn't helping. _I cannot condone this any longer. I need to confront her._

Her schoolwork completed for the day, she joined Mother at the grand piano dominating the parlor. If she wasn't married to an inveterate chauvinist who maintained women were homemakers and men breadwinners, she would have pursued her dream as a music teacher. Mother peeked at her sheet music, muttering as her fingers stumbled over ivory keys before crashing into a cacophony of notes. Blowing errant strands out her face with an exasperated huff, she reset her fingers as Gretel sat beside her.

"Hello, Gretel." Eyes narrowing in scrutiny, Mother leaned forward and floundered through another run of the scales. She groaned and threw her head back. _Another botched attempt._

"Mother...We need to talk."

She looked at her. "About what?" " _What?"_ she said, when Gretel hadn't replied. Don't be shy! Spit it out."

Trepidation trickled down her spine. "I saw you..." Regret came instant. _Too late_ ; she had crossed the point of no return.

"Saw me?" Mother squinted at her. "Saw me doing what?"

"I saw you with…" Again, her voice failed her.

Mother stood, eyes widening. "What in heaven's name are you talking about?"

Gretel blurted the words: "I saw you kissing Lieutenant Kotler!"

"Shh!" Her concern was unwarranted - Father, as usual, was at work; the Lieutenant was off duty; and Bruno had gone exploring while Maria and Pavel pared vegetables in the kitchen, worlds away.

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

Gretel deflated, hopes dashed. "How could you betray Father?" _How could you betray_ me _?_ How long had the affair had been going on? Was the tryst she witnessed the first, or one of many? She doubted the former.

Mother heaved a sigh, drained by the question. "Gretel, it's complicated...you're too young to understand."

"Then make me understand! I want to know _why_. Why did you kiss him? How long has this been going on?"

Mother did not speak for an eternity. Finally: "Kurt and I have been seeing each other for the past two months." Then, as an afterthought: "He was there when your father wasn't - although that doesn't justify our actions. I did not intend for our relationship to turn into what it is now. I tried to stop it, but couldn't."

Gretel shook her head, scowling. It wasn't a case of couldn't, but _wouldn't_.

* * *

 _The next day..._

The car pulled into the drive, and Lieutenant Kotler emerged from behind the wheel, opening the back door with a bow and flourish - a rare break in solemnity. Out came Mother, brown tresses lustrous in the sunshine, arms laden with groceries. Kurt spread his, offering to carry the bags, but Mother shook her head and wrenched out of reach, skirt flaring as he lunged toward her. The Lieutenant, undeterred, hooked an arm around her waist and clasped her to him. Mother burst into laughter as he nuzzled her hair until she surrendered.

Gretel frowned. After the confession, she expected change, but it had yet to come.

She abandoned her perch at the windowsill to open the door.

"Thank you, Gretel." Mother beamed in appreciation, Kurt acknowledging her daughter with a brusque nod before entering the kitchen.

Gretel scrutinized Mother as she slipped out of her heels. After placing them to the side, she straightened, smile faltering as her eyes fell upon her daughter once more. Gretel scowled before stomping upstairs and into her room, not speaking until the close of the door assured privacy.

She glowered at her mother's reflection in the window, arms crossed. "I thought we discussed this."

Mother smoothed her skirt and cleared her throat with an imperious lift of her chin. "We did." Gretel's expression hardened as she turned. "Oh, don't look at me like that!" Mother's voice dripped venom as she stalked toward her, a snake coiled and poised to strike. "You're just a thirteen year old girl. You cannot possibly understand what my relationship with Lieutenant Kotler is like. If you did, you would realize you cannot help who you fall in love with…"

"That does not matter! You should not be with him! It's wrong, you...you...you _harlot_!"

 _Smack!_

Gretel stumbled into the bed, rubbing her cheek.

"Gretel!" Mother, lurching forward, yanked the girl's hand away to inspect the pink splotch stark against alabaster skin.

"Get away from me!" Mother quailed at the outburst. She wrung her wrists and reeled into the wall, startling as if oblivious to its presence. The girl descended upon her until they stood nose-to-nose.

"You've got to listen to me now, or I will make Father aware of your little secret, yes?"

Terror flickered across her eyes. "Gretel -"

"You will never lay a hand on me again, understand? You've got to do as I say; otherwise it will be the end of your marriage _and_ your reputation."

Mother gaped at her. Preposterous as it sounded, she couldn't risk either. "Yes, Gretel. Anything you want, you can have. Please, I will do anything. Just don't tell your father!"

 _"Anything?"_

Mother swallowed with an emphatic nod. "Yes. Anything."

Gretel cocked her head, tapping her chin. "Hmm…"

* * *

 _Later that day..._

"Children, come here!"

Gretel and Bruno arrived at their mother's side the instant she called. Either someone was in trouble, or they were due to receive their weekly allowance - this time, the latter.

"Hey!" Bruno objected as Mother handed Gretel a few more German marks than usual - one stipulation the woman had no choice but concede to. "That isn't fair. When did Mother raise your allowance?"

"Not until recently. However…" Mother watched the cogwheels in Gretel's head turn. "Since you haven't annoyed me as much these past few days, you deserve to be rewarded. Don't you agree, Mother?"

Smile strained and voice tight, she concurred, "Of course, my darling Gretel," and begrudgingly parted with more German marks, peering into the gaping maw of her wallet after depositing them in Bruno's palm. His fingers curled around them.

"If this is what I get for being nice to you, I'll never bother you again!" He pranced down the hall.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading! The third - and final - chapter will be here next week.


	3. Chapter 3

**How Could You**

 **A Boy in the Striped Pajamas Fanfiction**

 **Summary:** Gretel walks in on her mother and Lieutenant Kotler kissing. How will she deal with the aftermath? Mild sensuality, language, and violence.

 **Disclaimer:** We own nothing!

 **Warnings /!\:** Mild sensuality, language, and violence.

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

Gretel shut the front door and turned, eyes darkening as they landed on the man she despised more than anyone in the world, her simmering rage reaching a frothing boil. After confronting Mother, she no longer feared speaking her mind, even to _him_.

"I hate you!" The thought of this pathetic excuse for a man abusing her father's - his superior's - trust revolted her. Didn't he know the dangerous game he played?

She shoved him; Kotler barely budged. He sneered, eyes narrowing into chips of blue ice. Gretel gulped as the enormity of her actions registered, sucking courage out of her. The Lieutenant swooped down and snatched her arm, jerking her toward him, nails piercing like talons.

His eyes bore into hers and chilled her soul. "I love your mother, and she loves me. You mustn't tell your father or bad things will happen." He relinquished his hold; Gretel stumbled back but kept her balance and composure, cradling her arm against her chest as tears welled in her eyes and blood up the crescent cuts marring the flesh.

 _Lieutenant Kotler is a vile, evil man - even for a Nazi._

* * *

"Gretel, what happened to your arm?" Mother inquired later that day.

She yanked her sleeve down. "Nothing."

"It certainly doesn't look like 'nothing.' Allow me to look at it."

Gretel begrudged her arm, eyes downcast and prickling with tears as Mother tugged her toward the window for closer examination.

She gasped, eyes big as saucers. "Gretel, did you and Bruno get into a fight?"

"I fell and scratched myself, that's all." She jerked her arm, but Mother did not yield. She hated protecting the Lieutenant but it also spared her from his wrath. Why had she taken his threat to heart? Didn't he know the ramifications of his actions? That if she told Father, bad things would happen to _him_?

Did he even _care_?

"This certainly doesn't look like a scratch. How do you expect me to help you if you will not tell me who is responsible?"

The allegation burst forth at its own volition. "Lieutenant Kotler. He's the one who did it." _There._

She knitted her brows. "Pardon me?"

"Lieutenant Kotler. He did it."

Mother recoiled, doubt, fear, and hurt flashing across her countenance. Her hand ascended the pale column of her throat, rolling the scintillating pearls of her necklace between its fingers. "Kurt...did this?"

"Yes. What are _you_ going to do about it, Mother?"

Mother backed away, clamping a hand over her mouth. "No…" The word seeped through her fingers.

"Yes," Gretel insisted. "You're _really_ going to believe him over me?"

* * *

"Where is Lieutenant Kotler?" Gretel asked. It was half-past six and he had yet to show.

Father didn't raise his head as he sawed at his lamb with enough force to crack the porcelain plate. "He has been dismissed." He didn't elaborate.

"Oh."

Mother brushed away mousy strands escaping the chignon at the nape of her neck, mouth pinched as she picked at food that had grown cold and unpalatable. Fork clattering onto the table in defeat, she left without a word; tension ebbed from the room. Besides a quizzical glance from Bruno, her abrupt departure remained unacknowledged.

* * *

"What are they going on about?" Bruno asked. He had fled to Gretel's room with Mother and Father in the throes of battle.

"I don't know." Her innards writhed at the lie.

How _did_ Father find out? Had Kotler told him to spite her and Mother? Surely he knew he'd be reassigned to the front lines, where death awaited. Or maybe Mother had sided with her and divulged the status of her and Kotler's relationship to Father in reprisal, despite the cost to her. Gretel did not know what occurred, but preferred to think the latter.

* * *

The door creaked open; Gretel sat up, squinting into the light. "Bruno?"

He shuffled into the room, closed the door, and approached her timidly, voice wavering as he asked, "May I stay with you?"

"Of course." She'd never admit it, but she was relieved to see him. Gretel scooted over as her brother joined her, laying a cheek on his head as he pressed his against her shoulder.

 _"How could you do this? You've shamed me!"_ Father snapped.

 _"Oh, don't go pretending you're some saint!_ " Mother shot back.

Bruno clamped his hands over his ears. "Why are Mum and Dad fighting so much?"

"I don't know." She wished they'd stop.

And, eventually, they did.

At supper, they set down their cutlery on cue and turned to their children. Father harrumphed; Gretel and Bruno looked up. "We have decided it is in your and Bruno's best interests if your Mother and I spent some time apart." They were not divorcing, but "spending time apart for the foreseeable future" due to "irreconcilable differences" neither expounded on, despite their insistence the split was "amicable."

The euphemisms they believed obscured the truth could not have been more transparent.

"Are we staying at Out-With?" Bruno asked.

His parents exchanged glances, wordlessly debating who should answer; Mother lost. "No, Bruno. Your father and I will not be together for the time being. We are returning to Berlin, while your father remains here to continue his duties."

"I don't want to leave Out-With!"

"I'm sorry, Bruno, but that is something you have to accept," Father said.

Gretel frowned at her brother. "Why would you want to stay here?" _I certainly don't._

* * *

Gretel spent the next day packing. By the time she and Maria were done with her room, every trace of her had been expunged.

 _Like I never existed._ She shuddered at the thought of Father here, alone, for the indefinite future. She knew she would not see him for a while; he was inundated with work, and Mother would not relinquish one German mark for her and Bruno to visit him.

"Please be careful with that!" Mother called after the portly man in overalls loading the last of the boxes into the truck as Gretel trudged downstairs, Bruno in tow. "Extremely delicate china is in there!" She wrung her hands, cerulean eyes sweeping the foyer until settling on her children. "Do you have everything?"

"Yes," they said.

"Oh, Bruno! Don't you know how cold it is out there? What makes you think you can walk around with your coat all open in this kind of weather?" Mother deplored, buttoning him up to the chin and pulling his hat low over his brow, nearly blinding him. Gretel burrowed her hands into her pockets scanning the room, committing every nuance to memory before her eyes snagged on the figure at the threshold.

"Daddy."

He stepped into the room, hair slick with pomade, the creases of his uniform sharp enough to draw blood and black boots and brass buttons glinting under the chandelier dripping crystals.

"I wanted to say goodbye."

"Goodbye, Daddy." Gretel flung her arms around him, resting her head against his chest as he returned the embrace, a gentle squeeze conveying his love for her he could never articulate. Sniffling, she withdrew, blinking back tears as he bid farewell to Bruno and acknowledged Mother a with curt nod.

Mother extended a gloved hand. "Come, Gretel. Bruno. It is time for us to leave."

They squeezed into the back seat of the car bound for Berlin, coruscating like obsidian, its swastika-bearing flags rippling in the wind.

Bruno pressed his forehead against the window as the sedan eased forward. "I'm going to miss Out-With."

"It's not pronounced 'Out-With', it's Au-" Gretel stopped herself. "Never mind." She wrapped an arm around her brother's stooped shoulders, glancing back at the mansion as it shrunk in the distance, its memory forever tainted with Lieutenant Kotler.

 _The End_

* * *

 **A/N** : Thanks for reading! Please let us know what you think.


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